I've had a lot to say over the past couple of years about how similar the internet and the astral plane are... but I must admit that I was still floored when, during a nightly meditation on astral frequencies, I received an actual, legitimate, undeniably-tangible pop-up ad!

That's right, this motherfucker just manifested right in the middle of my mindspace. It was clearly fashioned after the pop-up ads we are so accustomed to online; I'm sure whoever put it out must have felt quite cheeky. There was a simple message written in English (whether it was created as such or somehow enchanted to match the recipient's native language is beyond me):

My initial excitement at making some sort of contact with an intergalactic being was quickly nullified when I realized that the prompt was automated. I also assume it wasn't targeted, as while I could be considered many metaphysical things, I've never been a witch of any sort.

I asked for more information on this group and got no response, and the object had no "frequency" to it (there was no distinct energy to it; the astral equivalent of an automated script). I don't suppose hyperlinks exist at all in the astral plane (though up to now I didn't think pop-up ads did either, so I dare not assume), but they certainly did not here at least, unfortunately. There was simply no way to find out more about this group before having to make a decision, and I could tell this odd manifestation wasn't going to stick around for enough time to let me to break my trance, Google them, and return, so I had to make a quick decision.

I'm sure you're hoping I hit "Yes" and received some kind of fascinating transmission or out of body experience, perhaps an alien abduction, but alas, I refuse to agree to anything without having proper context in the "real" world, let alone in the realms beyond. I selected "No" and hoped that I would receive some sort of sales pitch or "BEFORE YOU GO--" message, but instead the whole thing faded away.

I frantically scribbled the details of this bizarre occurrence in my notes and did a search the next day for anything more on this organization, but, unlike with some other encounters I've had, nobody else has as of yet documented encountering this group or their otherworldly recruitment spam.

I can't say I regret denying their request, but I am curious what would have happened had I accepted. I will say, they must have at least one member of some impressive ability, as I haven't the slightest idea how to go about sending out an astral e-blast. Whatever the story behind it truly was, I must say the experience was one of the most cyberoccultist things I've ever experienced.

Have you ever run into an astral pop-up ad? Have you ever been contacted by the Cosmic Witch Alliance? Are you IN the Cosmic Witch Alliance? Let me know if so, because I'd love to hear more.